Postcards

Postcards I've received before are from those friends who just temporary stayed abroad. Words transferred to the imagination, it’s just a kind of pure happiness I’d feel when I saw those postcards.

Now there’s another postcard on my desk. Full handwriting, written neatly.

What I feel now is not happiness, not excitement, not expectations……no, none of them. It’s a strangely mixed feeling.
Regret.. maybe. Relief…yes. Sadness…definitely.

Postcards from friends who won’t “come back here” someday in the future.

With some people maybe you just have this only chance in your life to be with them, but I didn’t realize it then, which made me so regret now. That’s a mistake I will never ever make again… I hate myself when it’s me who push myself into this painful emotion.

Still, having news from you's a great relief for me. It's always true that friendship won’t fade away like memories...if we keep nourishing and cherishing it. Thanks God that there’s friendship as a kind of love in the world!

And postcards always make me miss you more, my friends. What are those feelings that compose the emotion of missing people? Hard to say, but there’s always sadness within it. More or less…




When it comes to saying goodbye, sometimes it’s clear that we knew maybe we won’t see each other again. Yet we still said, “See you. We’ll meet sometime in the future.” So we can face the time of leaving bravely, with some hope kept in our minds.

direction

For all the time I dreamed of enjoying life with enough money, yet I didn’t notice that I’ve never possessed the ability to achieve that kind of life. I’ve got money from my parents to have my dream, but I even don’t know how to realize it. Childish, not until today that I found this truth.

Where’s my direction? One professor asked me. And I don’t know how to answer. I planned things I’m gonna to do in the following years. I dreamed of life I’m longing for. But Jesus, I don’t know where my direction is. In which field I’ll put my passion, that I’ll dedicate my whole life chasing the great achievement within that field? I don’t know. Jeeez, I don’t know!

Get the master degree, CFA, be a professional in the field of finance, can speak a second foreign language fluently – sounds like I already know my direction for the next decade. But I see no passion in my mind, which means there’re still other things deserve effort given by me, in which I’ll find passion inside me. Just I haven’t found it yet.

So I asked him how I can find my direction, desperately. He just smiled, and shook his head.

Is it already too late?

No, even though he didn’t say anything. Only this answer can push me forward. I’ll prove that I’ll be more than the one that he thinks I’ll be.