The mint plant in my room is growing very well.
I bought that near the Valentine’s day. At that time this mint still seemed fragile, standing on the shelf of supermarket, label saying “I’m BIO.” Yes, that’s how a “BIO thing” supposed to look like: weak, malnourished, all of its energy is being sucked out. Yet you can feel that they are HARMLESS. That’s the point of bio things, isn’t it? Anyway, this mint plant caught my eye and after half a minute I put it into my cart. Didn’t consider much, since I know that I need a plant to light up my room and mint is somewhat suitable and sometimes useful, for cooking. You may say that Parley could be more useful when it comes to cooking; but there’s no Parsley on the shelf. Everybody thought so: “hmm, Parsley could be more useful.” So there’s no Parsley anymore. Sold out already. However, the aroma of mint is more tempting for me -if we just talk about the scent.
Same reason for the herbal tea. For example, I have Kraeutertee. I bought that not just because of the package looks nice, to tell the truth; also because I like the aroma of mint. It goes against the lazy-factors inside my body, and eventually balances it, and then I feel peace inside myself.
Now the mint plant is prosperous with lots of light green leaves, and I haven’t taken even one of them, to cook or do something else. Just sometimes walk near and smell the aroma of it. Calm me down or so. This plant has only be here for two weeks but already saw lots of things happened to me, I’ll say.
Feb 26, 2011
Feb 24, 2011
My game theory
Being a financial analyst is what I’ll do in the near future. To many other people who just entered this market, it may be quite a huge challenge to get used to this cruel world which just recognizes your ability only. So they’re being very careful, delicate with decision-making, while feeling stressful being a new-bie in financial market.
To me it’s different. I’m not saying that I’m overconfident, thinking I’m able to deal with any cases that I encounter. No, things are not like that. Rather, I’m still a master student who hasn’t received her degree, and yet her financial analyst certificate. My ability is still far from enough being a good analyst. But I know what I’m gonna to do.
I’m going to play a game, which is created by the whole human society. This is a game that composed of real things. Will be extremely dangerous, risky and hilarious. But this is a very tempting game, cuz everything you feel, you get, you lost is real. Once I am a Chartered Financial Analyst, the game starts. There will be companies which need me. No experience, no money, but I’ve got degree and certificate. That’s enough for me to survive in this game for the first few years. The ticket to this game is my bachelor and master degree, and CFA keeps me from being kicked out from the game. I use the real money to play this game, trying to figure out how to make money from money in this company. What is the best financial project. What is the best opportunity to invest. I’ve got no pressure on me cuz I know what I’m doing is just a game. No harm to human soul, so not a big deal. As a Christian I know the only thing people should afraid of is the thing which will harm their soul. Therefore I just do my best to win the game, get the reward, and enter the next level of this game. If I failed, this is also good, cuz that means I’m learning new things I don’t know before, or I haven’t learned in school before- the worst thing that could happen is just being fired by the company. But still I can get another job with CFA very soon. (that’s why I think CFA is very important in this game… it saves your time.) And the best thing in this game is that you never get bored.
So, now I’m still preparing, learning all the rules of this game. Like learning rules for playing chess. And I can’t wait to start the game.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela
To me it’s different. I’m not saying that I’m overconfident, thinking I’m able to deal with any cases that I encounter. No, things are not like that. Rather, I’m still a master student who hasn’t received her degree, and yet her financial analyst certificate. My ability is still far from enough being a good analyst. But I know what I’m gonna to do.
I’m going to play a game, which is created by the whole human society. This is a game that composed of real things. Will be extremely dangerous, risky and hilarious. But this is a very tempting game, cuz everything you feel, you get, you lost is real. Once I am a Chartered Financial Analyst, the game starts. There will be companies which need me. No experience, no money, but I’ve got degree and certificate. That’s enough for me to survive in this game for the first few years. The ticket to this game is my bachelor and master degree, and CFA keeps me from being kicked out from the game. I use the real money to play this game, trying to figure out how to make money from money in this company. What is the best financial project. What is the best opportunity to invest. I’ve got no pressure on me cuz I know what I’m doing is just a game. No harm to human soul, so not a big deal. As a Christian I know the only thing people should afraid of is the thing which will harm their soul. Therefore I just do my best to win the game, get the reward, and enter the next level of this game. If I failed, this is also good, cuz that means I’m learning new things I don’t know before, or I haven’t learned in school before- the worst thing that could happen is just being fired by the company. But still I can get another job with CFA very soon. (that’s why I think CFA is very important in this game… it saves your time.) And the best thing in this game is that you never get bored.
So, now I’m still preparing, learning all the rules of this game. Like learning rules for playing chess. And I can’t wait to start the game.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela
Aug 3, 2010
Body and Soul, Ed Thigpen
wo, I love this song.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why people’s emotion can change so fast from one to the other moment. I guess it means that we should not trust in our feelings too much. It may betray you at any time, without any warnings.
After learning this fact, one can live out his life much easier. Dumped by a girl, loss from a game, swollen by the big tragic real world… may be extremely depressed at that time, but your soul is still complete and won’t be harmed just because of these things. A thing happened at the next moment may change the feeling totally, completely. The sucking sadness and disappointment can disappear in just a minute, and we barely notice, ‘cause we’re bathing in the happiness which comes too suddenly.
May be a person you meet, a sentence in a book, or an idea from God, changes the world you’ve seen before.
SO… when I believe that I’m pissed off, I have to tell myself that I’m not that pissed off. It’s just what I feel at that moment. People always deal with things more wisely when they calm down.
人的情緒轉換之快，有時真叫人吃驚。只是一瞬間而已噢。代表著我們不能太過於信任自己的感覺吧?也許隨時都會被背叛的，在沒有任何預警之下。這誰也說不準。
一旦發現這個事實，生活就變得輕鬆許多。被喜歡的女孩子甩，輸掉自己在意的比賽，在失望中逐漸被這充滿悲劇性的現實世界吞噬…在當下也許極度痛苦，但從中立的角度來看，我們本身的靈魂是毫髮無傷的。一點傷痕都沒有。不會因為這些小事，就對我們的生命早成永久性地破壞的。接下來發生的事情根本性地改變了心情，這是極有可能的。所有令人窒息的難受，忽然間就這麼消失了，而我們甚至沒有察覺，或許在那瞬間降臨的喜悅之下。
也許…下一個時刻遇見的那個人，書上讀到的那句話，上帝給的一個啟示，就徹底的改變了我們所看見的世界。
所以，當感覺很不高興時，我就得告訴自己其實沒那麼生氣。不過是當下的感覺罷了。人在冷靜下來時總是會做出比較明智的決定的。
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why people’s emotion can change so fast from one to the other moment. I guess it means that we should not trust in our feelings too much. It may betray you at any time, without any warnings.
After learning this fact, one can live out his life much easier. Dumped by a girl, loss from a game, swollen by the big tragic real world… may be extremely depressed at that time, but your soul is still complete and won’t be harmed just because of these things. A thing happened at the next moment may change the feeling totally, completely. The sucking sadness and disappointment can disappear in just a minute, and we barely notice, ‘cause we’re bathing in the happiness which comes too suddenly.
May be a person you meet, a sentence in a book, or an idea from God, changes the world you’ve seen before.
SO… when I believe that I’m pissed off, I have to tell myself that I’m not that pissed off. It’s just what I feel at that moment. People always deal with things more wisely when they calm down.
人的情緒轉換之快，有時真叫人吃驚。只是一瞬間而已噢。代表著我們不能太過於信任自己的感覺吧?也許隨時都會被背叛的，在沒有任何預警之下。這誰也說不準。
一旦發現這個事實，生活就變得輕鬆許多。被喜歡的女孩子甩，輸掉自己在意的比賽，在失望中逐漸被這充滿悲劇性的現實世界吞噬…在當下也許極度痛苦，但從中立的角度來看，我們本身的靈魂是毫髮無傷的。一點傷痕都沒有。不會因為這些小事，就對我們的生命早成永久性地破壞的。接下來發生的事情根本性地改變了心情，這是極有可能的。所有令人窒息的難受，忽然間就這麼消失了，而我們甚至沒有察覺，或許在那瞬間降臨的喜悅之下。
也許…下一個時刻遇見的那個人，書上讀到的那句話，上帝給的一個啟示，就徹底的改變了我們所看見的世界。
所以，當感覺很不高興時，我就得告訴自己其實沒那麼生氣。不過是當下的感覺罷了。人在冷靜下來時總是會做出比較明智的決定的。
Apr 21, 2010
Postcards
Postcards I've received before are from those friends who just temporary stayed abroad. Words transferred to the imagination, it’s just a kind of pure happiness I’d feel when I saw those postcards.
Now there’s another postcard on my desk. Full handwriting, written neatly.
What I feel now is not happiness, not excitement, not expectations……no, none of them. It’s a strangely mixed feeling.
Regret.. maybe. Relief…yes. Sadness…definitely.
Postcards from friends who won’t “come back here” someday in the future.
With some people maybe you just have this only chance in your life to be with them, but I didn’t realize it then, which made me so regret now. That’s a mistake I will never ever make again… I hate myself when it’s me who push myself into this painful emotion.
Still, having news from you's a great relief for me. It's always true that friendship won’t fade away like memories...if we keep nourishing and cherishing it. Thanks God that there’s friendship as a kind of love in the world!
And postcards always make me miss you more, my friends. What are those feelings that compose the emotion of missing people? Hard to say, but there’s always sadness within it. More or less…
When it comes to saying goodbye, sometimes it’s clear that we knew maybe we won’t see each other again. Yet we still said, “See you. We’ll meet sometime in the future.” So we can face the time of leaving bravely, with some hope kept in our minds.
Now there’s another postcard on my desk. Full handwriting, written neatly.
What I feel now is not happiness, not excitement, not expectations……no, none of them. It’s a strangely mixed feeling.
Regret.. maybe. Relief…yes. Sadness…definitely.
Postcards from friends who won’t “come back here” someday in the future.
With some people maybe you just have this only chance in your life to be with them, but I didn’t realize it then, which made me so regret now. That’s a mistake I will never ever make again… I hate myself when it’s me who push myself into this painful emotion.
Still, having news from you's a great relief for me. It's always true that friendship won’t fade away like memories...if we keep nourishing and cherishing it. Thanks God that there’s friendship as a kind of love in the world!
And postcards always make me miss you more, my friends. What are those feelings that compose the emotion of missing people? Hard to say, but there’s always sadness within it. More or less…
When it comes to saying goodbye, sometimes it’s clear that we knew maybe we won’t see each other again. Yet we still said, “See you. We’ll meet sometime in the future.” So we can face the time of leaving bravely, with some hope kept in our minds.
Apr 10, 2010
direction
For all the time I dreamed of enjoying life with enough money, yet I didn’t notice that I’ve never possessed the ability to achieve that kind of life. I’ve got money from my parents to have my dream, but I even don’t know how to realize it. Childish, not until today that I found this truth.
Where’s my direction? One professor asked me. And I don’t know how to answer. I planned things I’m gonna to do in the following years. I dreamed of life I’m longing for. But Jesus, I don’t know where my direction is. In which field I’ll put my passion, that I’ll dedicate my whole life chasing the great achievement within that field? I don’t know. Jeeez, I don’t know!
Get the master degree, CFA, be a professional in the field of finance, can speak a second foreign language fluently – sounds like I already know my direction for the next decade. But I see no passion in my mind, which means there’re still other things deserve effort given by me, in which I’ll find passion inside me. Just I haven’t found it yet.
So I asked him how I can find my direction, desperately. He just smiled, and shook his head.
Is it already too late?
No, even though he didn’t say anything. Only this answer can push me forward. I’ll prove that I’ll be more than the one that he thinks I’ll be.
Where’s my direction? One professor asked me. And I don’t know how to answer. I planned things I’m gonna to do in the following years. I dreamed of life I’m longing for. But Jesus, I don’t know where my direction is. In which field I’ll put my passion, that I’ll dedicate my whole life chasing the great achievement within that field? I don’t know. Jeeez, I don’t know!
Get the master degree, CFA, be a professional in the field of finance, can speak a second foreign language fluently – sounds like I already know my direction for the next decade. But I see no passion in my mind, which means there’re still other things deserve effort given by me, in which I’ll find passion inside me. Just I haven’t found it yet.
So I asked him how I can find my direction, desperately. He just smiled, and shook his head.
Is it already too late?
No, even though he didn’t say anything. Only this answer can push me forward. I’ll prove that I’ll be more than the one that he thinks I’ll be.
Mar 27, 2010
0327
Erinnerung, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Willst du immer weiter schweifen?
Sieh, das Gute liegt so nah,
Lerne nur das Glück ergreifen,
Denn das Glück ist immer da.
Willst du immer weiter schweifen?
Sieh, das Gute liegt so nah,
Lerne nur das Glück ergreifen,
Denn das Glück ist immer da.
Mar 26, 2010
burned something again
Burnt pancakes for breakfast this morning.
When the smell of burnt reminded me it’s time to turn, it’s already too late. No other choices so I spread nutella on them, trying to cover the smell.
Recently my mind would be completely elsewhere when I try to focus on doing something – that this is really unusual for me. Like I’m not myself these days. Gosh, my body’s here but where on earth is my mind going?
Ahh, no matter where you go, please come back soon. I can’t be like this when all others are working hard for bright future….
今天早上第一批鬆餅微焦。
等聞到焦味才想到要翻面時，已經完全性地來不及了。沒辦法只好抹上巧克力醬蓋住討厭的焦味。做什麼事都心不在焉的，最近的我都快不認識自己了。討厭半調子的自己。另一半的魂魄究竟飛到哪去了呢?
唉，不論是到哪去，快回來吧。大家都在努力為未來奮鬥的時候，我還在做什麼白日夢呢?
When the smell of burnt reminded me it’s time to turn, it’s already too late. No other choices so I spread nutella on them, trying to cover the smell.
Recently my mind would be completely elsewhere when I try to focus on doing something – that this is really unusual for me. Like I’m not myself these days. Gosh, my body’s here but where on earth is my mind going?
Ahh, no matter where you go, please come back soon. I can’t be like this when all others are working hard for bright future….
今天早上第一批鬆餅微焦。
等聞到焦味才想到要翻面時，已經完全性地來不及了。沒辦法只好抹上巧克力醬蓋住討厭的焦味。做什麼事都心不在焉的，最近的我都快不認識自己了。討厭半調子的自己。另一半的魂魄究竟飛到哪去了呢?
唉，不論是到哪去，快回來吧。大家都在努力為未來奮鬥的時候，我還在做什麼白日夢呢?
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